Self-doubt shuts down an angel!
So you think you’re the only one who experiences self-doubt on occasion, who second guesses your expertise and capabilities? Let me introduce you to someone who knows all too well the dangers of allowing self-doubt to rule your life. Raphael, Brethren Savior.
Raphael has been riddled with guilt and self-doubt ever since he failed to heal Seraphiel, his Warrior brother, and Emma Livingston, the Great Savior Mother. He has allowed it free reign over his life and is now suffering the consequences. He can no longer heal! His powers are blocked!
Self-doubt is a master manipulator to be sure. It skews our perceptions so that all aspects of our lives have a negative vibe to them. Common phrases pop up like, “I can’t do anything right!” “I’ll never reach my goal!” “All this work is a waste of time!” “No one likes what I do anyway!” “What good am I?” “I suck!” Once these nasty, parasitic creatures imbed themselves in our psyche, they are damned hard to get rid of.
No matter how many family members or friends tell you you’re great and that you matter to them, no matter how many great reviews or accolades your work gets, because of self-doubt you will push that positive energy aside and be compelled to dwell on the negative.
The only cure for this affliction? It must come from within. The battle is within. You started it, and only you can end it. With positivity and optimism, determination and fortitude, and the courage to acknowledge even the smallest of successes into your life.
Raphael is taught this painful lesson, but can he do it? Can he wage war against his own guilt and self-doubt and win? You’ll have to read RELIC to find out! It releases January 27th from Decadent Publishing!
What I can tell you? It is a scene worthy of the big screen.
As for you, here’s a little something, a poem, I return to often as a reminder of how I can fight the self-doubting parasites:
Every Day I Fight A War Every day I fight a war against my enemy, Self-Doubt My weapon of choice The claymore of words Used to slash and burn its killing fields My shield
My army of friends and family Providing a near-impenetrable wall
My victories are many Yet self-doubt lingers on Its crops, too many to annihilate completely Its cells regenerating, dividing at too great a speed An invading virus with no real cure Only symptomatic Band-Aids
It’s a war of words I wage today My sentries stand vigilant against the onslaught Of vicious barbs and cruel taunts I stand noble and strong Hurling perspective and optimism In the face of my toxic foe
Today, I wear a tentative smile For I have won But tomorrow looms on the horizon Another chance for self-doubt To worm its way into my fortress I shall stand ready at the ramparts With my sword and shield And my grace
©Deena Remiel, 2010.